Entry #20: Away in the big silver bird.


I'm the kind of person who has always considered myself to be very sensitive to the feelings of other people. I mean, I can't stand the idea that something I might have done or said, even without meaning to, could make someone unhappy in anyway. That's why it was so important to me to find Chaz and tell him that I was going to London. I didn't want him to get the news from someone else, like JoAnn, who I'm sure would distort the whole thing with Elvin and make Chaz feel just awful.

The plane to London was leaving at 4 pm and because it's an international flight and all, you have to be there a whole two hours before take-off. And since we live an hour away from SFO, we had to leave no later than 12:30 so we could park and check our luggage, show our passports and all that stuff and get to the gate with plenty of time to spare. So I was only going to be in school for a couple of hours and I had to get a signature from each of my teachers for this independent study thing that I'm going to do on the history of English theater while I'm gone. Anyway, I was running around tracking down teachers and also looking everywhere for Chaz. I didn't want to leave without seeing him, and saying goodbye and especially to let him know that this chance to go to England was a total spur of the moment thing and I didn't want him to think that I was playing games with him when I agreed that he could come over for dinner on Friday this week. I really wanted that to happen so he could meet my parents and that way things would be easier for us all around. But now, we'll be 6000 miles away on Friday!

I got all the teacher signatures I needed (I even went into the teacher's lounge to get the last two) but I couldn't find Chaz anywhere! It was getting late and I promised my parents I'd be home by noon, so I scribbled a note and left it in Chaz's locker. Here's what it said

Dear Chaz,

I'm really sorry but I have to cancel our plans for Friday because I'm not going to be here. My parents and I are going to London! I know it's totally weird, and I can't believe it myself, but it's true. I'll be back in 10 days.

I love you.


I purposely didn't mention Elvin. Not that I haven't been wondering what it would be like if I actually met him, but because I didn't want Chaz to worry about it. Why should he worry? There's no way it could even happen. But maybe it could, and then what....?




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