Entry #11: For you but not yet...


I've been thinking a lot about what Miguel said. He's right, you know. There's absolutely no reason for me to get into all these weirded out head trips about making my relationship with Becca into something more than it is before it's ready to become something more. So we'll be friends. I'm cool with this. Really. It takes the pressure off and besides it feels more organic to let this develop at its own pace.

So I'm feeling really good. So good in fact, that I wrote a poem. What I like about this poem is that it expresses a feeling I've never really expressed to anyone, in a poem or in any other way. Love. I'm not going to show this one to Becca. No way! That would just be counter to everything I just said, but even though I might never show it to her, it is for her, just the same.

For Becca

Well, it seems to me

That while we're parted

I think about the way we started.

Don't need the pressure

'Cause I know

In its own time

This will grow.

But I really like these places,

Thanks for opening up the spaces

For me to breathe and grow

And make it safe

For me to show

That joy is filling up inside me

Though I try sometimes to hide


The feelings that are there

And to pretend that I don't care

But Becca,

you can see right through me

And if you look

You will see love.




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