Entry #8: Love and friendship don't mix.


Well, I asked Becca to go to the dance and she said she was going to meet me there. I thought that would be cool. When I first got there she wasn't there; but after about twenty minutes or so I saw her. I waited for the first "non-rap" song to ask her to dance because she once told me that she hates really loud music where the singers are screaming the words and no body can understand what they're saying. But she said she didn't feel like it.

I couldn't help but feeling there was something else going on. Right at that moment, Wendie Benson came over and asked me to dance. Becca said it was cool for me to dance with Wendie if I wanted to. So I figured, why not? Wendie is pretty cute, in a "adorable blond" kinda way. I'm not normally attracted to girls like that though, but I have to admit that while I was dancing with Wendie it felt kinda nice until I looked across the room and there was Becca dancing with Derek, this friend of hers. Derek is Asian, like Becca and I couldn't help but think that they looked good together. Becca has this long beautiful shiny black hair, and he has the same kind of hair. And I started thinking that she's probably more attracted to him than she is to me. That's probably why she didn't want to dance with me.

So there I am dancing with Wendie, and she's pressing her body close to me and I'm thinking, "Maybe there's a certain way that things are supposed to be. I mean we're both white and it sure felt nice dancing with her and Becca and Derek are both Asian and they looked real good together."

Wendie's hair smelled really nice.

Later, Becca and I really did get to dance but it seemed like her mind was somewhere else. The music was this sappy romantic thing from the '70's or something. And I'm thinking she's probably thinking about Derek right now and how she would rather be dancing with him. He's part of her group, you know? They have the same cultural tradition and that makes it easy for them to relate to each other. I guess my mind was somewhere else during that slow dance too.

Becca's father showed up before the dance was even over. She seemed relieved to go.

And after she left I danced with Wendie one more time then I went home.

Before I fell asleep I thought about Becca and me and I think I've decided that in this case, trying to turn a friendship into something else was a big mistake.




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