Miguel's Journal




Entry #12: I must be loco.


I couldn't sleep after I got off the phone with Dee so I called Chaz and told him what happened. I don't know why I turned to him, I just feel like since he came to me for advice about Becca, you know, maybe he could help me out. He listened to what I said and then he asked me something that just blew me away. He said, "Why don't you trust, Dee?"

I started to say that I did trust her but he wouldn't let me finish. He said, "Bull... if you really trusted her then why are you believing all this stuff that your cousin told you? Do have any reason to believe that Dee wants to break up with you?"

I told him, no. So then he asked me to put away all the doubts and wait to find out what's going on from the only person who matters in this whole thing... Dee.

Then I asked him why he thought she was so quiet in car and why she started crying on the phone. "What the hell difference does it make what I think? The only thing that matters is the truth, not someone's guess what the truth might be."

Well that sure got me thinking. I mean, I can't tell you how much of my life I have spent listening to other people's opinions of what might have happened. Chaz is absolutely right about this. Why should I get myself all nuts wondering what really happened? That's plain crazy. None of that matters. What matters is that I care about Dee and I do trust her. I believe that if she had something to tell me, especially something like that she wanted to break up with me, that she would talk to me about it. No way would she be telling other people. And she certainly would not choose Juan to talk to! Hello! She doesn't even know Juan. It doesn't make any sense to think that in the five minutes she spent in the car with him that that's what they would talk about. I must be loco to have even thought that could be true...even for one second!

I thanked Chaz because without talking to him I'm sure I would have been up all night imagining all kinds of craziness. Now I am just going to sleep and I will talk to Dee when I see her.




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