Make it Write The Door
It's like you are standing in front of a door and on the door there is a sign and it says "Your Life, This Way" with an arrow pointing out the door. Outside of that door there is everything: new people, girls, friends to meet and get to know. There are new things to learn and understand; a big new school. Outside that door there are new streets to walk on and new places to be. There are plenty of new experiences waiting behind the door. All of this, everything you've wanted and yearned for for so long are all right in front of your eyes. The only thing you have to do is turn the knob and you're there. Except it's not that easy, to just step into this new life of yours. It's not that easy because you are still standing in a room of what is soon to be your past. You look around the room, a room you have existed in for so long now. You see the memories of childhood, the good and happy times, the smiles, the parties. You see the bad times too, the tears, the divorce, the sadness. You see friends, familiar faces. Looking at the faces watching you, you think of all the fun times and all the living you did with those friends. You see your family, you mom, brother and your dad. Standing proudly, you know them so well. You can hear conversations and laughter; you can hear your favorite music playing. And it all seems so familiar, it all seems so normal. Everything about this room makes it harder to leave it, but you convince yourself its time to go. As you turn to head out of the door, something stops you, something makes you think twice about opening that door. It isn't the memories, or the music, it's her. She is standing in between you and the door, she is in the way. You study her face, a face and person you know so well. And as you look at this girl your heart feels heavy. You can still remember your first date, and the silence, you can still recall your first kiss and every single emotion and moment you have shared with her. Together you have created something so unique. Something very hard to let go of. You both knew, entering into the relationship, that when the time came for you to open the door to your life, she couldn't come with you. And now that time has come, to turn the knob and move on, and yet there she is, standing in the way. You look at her again. She smiles and cries. She smiles because she is happy to see you going to get what you deserve - what you've always wanted. But she cries because she's sad to watch you leave, knowing you can never return to this room. But in reality you must, you must enter through this door to your life. So you tell yourself to be strong, you pick up your sad eyes and swallow down the pain. You take one last look around the room breathing in every memory, turning to her, you realize that she is what makes it so hard to leave. You brush her cheek and slightly but sternly move her aside. Without a last thought or a last chance to say goodbye, knowing very well that you can never turn back, you take your final steps in that room and slowly turn the knob and open the door to your new life. The door closes with ease, leaving behind everything you have grown up with, leaving behind what you now realized was your first love. |
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