E M O T I O N S:
And it's frightening.
Oh I didn't expect that from you.
Can't see a thing.
And I am feeling really stupid now.
-Toad the Wet Sprocket
I am such a fool!
God, I can't believe I said that! I can't believe I did that! I wish
I could just disappear and not have to face anyone EVER AGAIN...
Sound familiar? It must, 'cause everyone (yes, even the cool people)
have totally blown it at one time or another. And when that happens we
feel like complete and total fools. Sometimes we wish we hadn't said or
done something that we did and may feel embarrassed. Hey, nobody's perfect
(no one human, anyway!). We have to give ourselves a little slack (sometimes
more than a little depending on how dumb the move we made was).
What to do after you've made a complete jerk of yourself?
- STOP. Notice you're feeling really embarrassed. Don't get defensive.
Don't try to cover it up. Just feel the embarrassment for a moment. The
intensity of the feelings will
pass much faster if you don't try to hide them or pretend they're not
- FORGIVE YOURSELF. As long as you weren't deliberately trying
to hurt someone or bring them down, just chalk it up for what it was...
a dumb, human, mistake.
Even though we think everyone is staring at us, reading our minds, and
rejoicing in our agony, this isn't true. You are so much more aware of
what's going on inside of you than anyone else can ever be. Why? Because
everyone else is too busy worrying about their own dumb mistakes to care
that much about yours! Remember that.
People will forgive you if you give them a chance. (And you'll be able
to do that if you've forgiven yourself first.)
- If your mistake caused anyone a problem, acknowledge it to yourself.
(Sometimes this is the hardest part.) Then apologize to the person who
was hurt. (Go on, it won't kill you to say "I'm sorry.")
In fact, it will lift a huge load from your shoulders. You'll see. It will
make you feel better.
- Think before you speak. It just might save you from some embarrassing
moments in the future. (Can't save you from all of them, of course, because
human beings will, from time to time, embarrass themselves. That's life.)
- Even when you are embarrassed, it's important to push yourself a
little. We know you'd rather crawl into a hole, but just try to keep
on participating in the conversation, or whatever is going on.
- Go back out there and enjoy life.
If you need more specific help,