E M O T I O N S:
Do you have the time
To listen to me whine
About nothing and everything all at once?
I am one of those melodramatic fools,
Neurotic to the bone,
No doubt about it.
Nobody likes me.
Sometimes we wonder if anyone likes us. In fact, we're sure they don't.
We wish we could be "out there" more, like audition for the school
play or go out for a team or run for school elections. But we're so afraid
we won't be any good or that other people will wish we hadn't showed up
we figure, why bother? We even fantasize about calling someone and asking
them if they want to do something with us but in the fantasy they always
say, "No way!" So what's the point?
There's a part of me that's cool. Somewhere!
Sometimes it feels like we are really two people wrapped up in one. Like
there's this really cool version of ourselves with lots of friends who knows
just what to say to make everyone laugh. But that person is hidden underneath
this shy, boring, totally uncool person everyone sees all the time. We feel
completely trapped in the prison of our own self-doubts.
We want to burst out and really start enjoying life, but the prison walls
are so thick we just can't.
These are feelings of insecurity. Everyone has them at one time
or another, especially when they are in a new situation.
What do you do?
A good way to escape from the insecurity trap is first to figure out
what you're good at. You know, the things about yourself you like.
- Take a piece of paper and fold it in half. (Go ahead, get one. We'll
- On one side of the paper write down a few of your positive qualities.
(Don't say: "I don't have any!" 'Cause everybody has some
It could be something like: "I'm smart." or "I always finish
what I start." or "I'm a good listener." Whatever. Just
start writing down some of your strengths.
- When you're done listing your strengths, write down a few things about
yourself that get in the way of your having a good day. (Think this part
will take forever? No problem. We're not in a hurry.)
A weakness could be something like: "I'm a sloppy eater."
or "I have a weird laugh." or "I'm shy." It could be
anything, as long as you believe it gets in your way of being happy.
- Make sure you keep both lists the same size, so if you think of 5 weaknesses
you have to come up with 5 strengths.
- When you're finished with your lists, look them over. Think about how
you can use your strengths more than you already do.
- Accept your weaknesses. (That doesn't mean you shouldn't work on them,
but for now, just accept that these weaknesses are a part of who you are.)
- Now you can work with your weaknesses, one at a time, so that they
will not get in your way of being the person you want to be.
If you need more specific help,