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My father asked if I am gay. | ||
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My boss asked if I am gay. | |
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My friend asked if I am gay. |
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My lover asked, "Do you love me?" | |
My god asked me, "Do you love yourself?"
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But in the past people thought of homosexuality as everything from a sin, to a mental illness, to a "life style" choice. Sexual orientation is not any of those things.
People are born either heterosexual (sexually attracted to people of the opposite sex), or homosexual (sexually attracted to people of the same sex), or bi-sexual (sexually attracted to both sexes).
Why can't we accept gays?
In the U.S. there are about 10 million homosexuals - gays (men attracted to men) and lesbians (women attracted to women). Millions more live in every country on earth. Most of them are not living openly as homosexuals because society still does not accept them. Why do we have such a hard time accepting gays or lesbians? Because of ignorance.
A fear of the unknown. A fear of something different. Some people do not believe that we are born with our sexual orientation. They are afraid that if children read about homosexuality or get to know someone who is homosexual, those kids will want to become homosexual themselves.
Consider the verbal and physical abuse some openly gay and lesbian teens get at school. According to the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Teachers Network:
Not to mention the anger and rejection they often face at home when they try to talk about their sexual feelings with their parents.
With these facts in mind, who in the world would "choose" to be gay?
Studies show that:
Even if parents (who influence us more than we ever know) wanted to influence a child's sexual orientation, they couldn't. And neither can anyone else!
It's Not Easy Being... Different.
Adolescence is a time when being different in any way can be frightening. Knowing the kind of unfair treatment you are likely to get from many ignorant people makes being openly gay or lesbian even more frightening.
What about me?
If you suspect you are gay or lesbian, accepting this reality can be a painful, lonely, and confusing process. Sometimes you may feel like you are the only person in the world who has these feelings. You are worried that if you breathe a word to anyone, your whole world as you know it, family relationships, friendships could fall apart. Sometimes you might deny your feelings to yourself and lie to others as a way of being accepted. You may work very hard to act like everyone else, keeping an important part of yourself hidden.
Take a Chance.
As you begin to share this part of yourself with others perhaps you will feel less overwhelmed by your feelings. By preparing yourself for all the responses you are likely to get - from acceptance to rejection - you can begin the process of accepting your sexual orientation as one part of the complex and fascinating person you are.
"The real question is not whether you are gay or straight, but how you manage your relationships. It's who you are and how you feel about yourself that matters. Whether you love men or love women is, in the final analysis, not as important as the fact that you are able to love."
Rev. Robert H. Iles
Executive Director Marcliff Foundation
Need more information or help? Call the
Gay Youth Talkline 1-800 246-7743
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