Relationships Unlimited

R E L A T I O N S H I P S:

Good old Mom and Dad. We love them. They love us.

So what is the problem?

  • Parents want to protect their kids.

(And sometimes they try to control them.)

  • Kids just want to be free.

So the conflict here is all about the struggle for independence.

(Before they can really make it on their own.)

Growing up and separating from your parents is a natural thing. And the arguments? Also natural. But all-out warfare? Who needs it! Let's talk peace strategies.

Dealing With Divorce

Major conflict time for everyone
involved. But you can survive.

Conflict Resolution Strategies

(Custom built for teens and parents)

As you grow up and become more independent you and your parents have to adjust to your changing wants and needs. Even though they love you and want to see you growing up, this usually causes conflict.

Use the Conflict Resolution "ToolKit," and teach your parents to use it too.

(Things will go smoother for all of you.)

Everyone Wants To Be Listened To.

Suppose you tell your parents you want to stay out later than your curfew. They say "No." You accuse them of trying to control your life and soon you're in a screaming match. What can you do?

Use "I feel" statements instead of blaming them. Listen when they talk. Tell them that you want them to listen to you, too. You might discover that your parents are worried about your safety and not interested in controlling your life at all. When they see you talking to them in a respectful, non-blaming way, your parents might notice that you are trustworthy and mature. You might even be able to renegotiate your curfew time and together come up with a curfew that suits your needs and their comfort level too!

Clear Rules and Consequences.

You need to know what the rules are and what to expect if you break them. It's also important for you to be part of deciding exactly what the rules and consequences are. You might approach your parents before you plan on doing something and set up the guidelines together. Think about the following topics and then discuss them with your parents:

If you talk about stuff like this before it's a problem, maybe it won't become one at all. And if it does become a problem, you guys will have done some of the groundwork so talking about it will be easier.

When a Conflict Arises Between You and Your Parents.

Follow these basic guidelines:


Threats, yelling, and physical violence never make things better...

for anyone!

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last updated November 19, 2005
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