Hey Terra!

Terra's Past Letters


BF/GF Relationships:
"I'm 14 and the guy I like is 19."

Hey Terra,

I know this guy at my church. First, I should tell you that I'm 14. We started going to this church about a year and a half ago. When I began to get to know everyone, "K" attracted my attention more than anyone else. I began to talk to him more and more, and we began to have very good conversations. We still often talk about horses (we BOTH love them so much!!!) Well, I think I should tell you that he is 19, and that is quite an age difference. I have really begun to fall for him, and he is the sweetest person I know. I think we could have a relationship, but I don't know what to do to "get the ball rolling." I also don't really know how to discuss this situation with my mom. She thinks "K" is a really nice person, also. We have talked about it before, but she never really has given me much advice. I would love it if you could help me figure out what to do. Thank you SOOOOOO much!!!

Completely Clueless


Dear Completely Clueless,

You underestimate yourself. You have already done all the right things to "get the ball rolling" with this guy. You've talked with him, discovered common interests and over a good amount of time, have become friends. That's great! I understand that you'd like to take this to the next level, i.e., to get romantic, but to tell you the truth, the age difference really troubles me. (I believe you have the same nagging doubts for the same reason I do.)

Here's my advice, keep this relationship at a friendship level. It's really not appropriate for you to be involved with a 19 year old guy on any other level. This may not have been the "advice" you were hoping for, but I think it's the wisest path to follow at this time.

In friendship,


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