Hey Terra!

Terra's Past Letters


"I like the guy who likes my best friend."

Hey Terra,

There's this guy that used to like me and now he likes my best friend and I like him! I don't want to act jealous, but I am. I told my friend how I felt and she felt bad. I don't want her to feel bad about it, but then again, I'll feel bad about it and he doesn't really give. What should I do?

Just a point in the triangle


Dear Just a point in the triangle,

It doesn't matter if he used to like you. For whatever reason, his feelings have changed and you need to accept that. If the guy likes your best friend now, then he's not available. You don't have dibs on him. He is an independent person who chooses his own behavior. So are you and so is your friend. But you need to remember that your friendship is the most important part of this triangle. I say that because it's much more likely that you and your best friend will have a relationship long after either of you can remember the guy's name.

If he likes her and she likes him then back off and let it be. You can't control his feelings and it's just not cool for you to make her feel guilty about liking him or being liked by him. It has nothing to do with you, so don't make it about you.

As for what you can do with your feelings? I know it hurts when someone you like doesn't feel the same way about you, but, you can't make him like you. So, I'd suggest you take this opportunity to put your hurt aside (learn whatever you can from what happened) and support your friend. The other thing to think about which might help you cope is this: The right guy for you wants to be with you as much as you want to be with him. If this guy doesn't want to be with you that's a sure sign that he isn't the "right" guy for you!

In friendship,


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