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Terra's Past Letters

 

Friends and Enemies:
"I told the police on my best friend. Now what?"

Hey Terra,

Me and my best friend from 9 years are fighting because she spray painted our local park. I was a witness and I was forced to tell the police the truth. So I did the right thing and I told them the truth.

When my friend found out she FREAKED out and told me that I was a liar and that she didn't do any of it. Then she said she doesn't want to be my friend anymore.

I want to tell her I'm sorry and she was right so she will be my friend again... It's just I don't know how to tell her.

She also told me I'm not a good friend. But I feel that I have always been a good friend to her. I don't know what to do!

Broken Hearted

 

Dear Broken Hearted,

Woah, I'm sure this wasn't easy for you, but you did the right thing by telling the police the truth. (Maybe you're surprised to hear me say that, but you did.) Your friend broke the law by damaging public property. For you to have remained silent would have been like pretending you thought it was okay. It wasn't okay. She knew it when she did it and you did too. Did you know that for some serious crimes, a person who stands by and watches a friend committing a crime can sometimes be charged, even though the watcher didn't actually "do" anything? By the way, did you try to stop your friend from doing it? A really good friend would have let her know that spray painting the park wasn't a good idea. Maybe you were too scared at the time to think straight. Ultimately, it was her choice to do it, but, good friends tell each other the truth, even if it makes the friend mad to hear it.

So, she's mad at you now. Well, I can understand why. She didn't want to get caught. No one wants to get caught. But when she chose to break the law she also risked getting nailed.

What can you do now so she'll "be your friend again"? I'm not sure. You did the right thing so there's nothing to apologize for. She should be apologizing to you for making you feel like you're the one who made the mistake. She made the mistake and she needs to deal with that.

Give her some space to chill and in the meantime, you might think about whether you want to be friends with someone who doesn't share your values about what's right.

I hope this helps you sort things out.

Let me know what happens.

In friendship,

Terra

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