Hey Terra!

Terra's Past Letters

 

Cheating/Betrayal:
"I don't want to play my bf, but I feel tempted."

Hey Terra,

I have a real big problem. I have a man that I love with all my heart but I have other guys that are after me. I mean I don't listen to them but sometimes I'm tempted to see the possibilities, but I don't want to play my boyfriend because he loves me and I know that he deserves better than me cheating on him. So what do you think I should do so I can be able to control the need to look at other possibilities?

Tempted to Cheat

 

Dear Tempted to Cheat,

I'm proud of you for knowing that playing your boyfriend is wrong. To love someone with "all your heart" means that you don't hurt them. It also means that whatever "temptation" is in your face, you stop, take a breath and say to yourself "I love my guy and cheating would hurt him. So I am going to choose NOT to cheat because I don't want to risk hurting him and messing up what we've got."

Something else that might help is for you to think about what you get from having other guys "after you." My guess is that you like the attention they're paying you. You might feel like your boyfriend doesn't pay as much attention to you as he used to and you miss it. Well, instead of considering cheating and ruining what you've got (and feeling really bad about it afterwards) talk to your boyfriend about what you want. Tell him you want him to tell you that he thinks you're special. That you're pretty and that he loves you and that he is so happy to have you in his life. Tell him you want more romance in the relationship. My guess is that if you tell him, and you get what you want from him, you will no longer be tempted to cheat. So talk to him about how you've been feeling.

How's that sound?

In friendship,

Terra

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