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Terra's Past Letters

 

Parents:
"My mother picks on me for every little thing."

Hey Terra,

The problem is with my mother. You see we never really had a good relationship ever since sixth grade. Seriously there is not one day that goes by that we don't fight, and sometimes I don't even know why we fight. She always picks on me for every little thing. It's not like I am a bad kid I do all right in school, I don't do drugs or drink, and I never gave her any reason not to trust me. Seriously it just sucks!

I know that we have to have better communication and not yell but I tried that with her, it's impossible! She never wants to listen to me. She believes that her parents never let her do half the stuff that she lets me do so its wrong. I am seventeen, have a job, and dealing with school and seriously stressing from this situation, to the point were I am getting physically and emotionally sick over it.

Please help me! Thanks!

Help!

 

Dear Help,

'm sorry you and your mom and having such a hard time treating each other with respect. If the two of you really can't have a calm discussion about what's going on (without yelling at each other) I suggest you talk to your school counselor about how to make your life at home more livable. A counselor should have information about parent/teen communications workshops you and your mom could go to together. (School districts, churches and community groups often run them, because, what you're describing is, unfortunately, a common problem.)

At the very least, a counselor can help YOU find ways not to get so stressed about your mother's behavior. It takes two people to have a fight, and if you knew how NOT to get upset by her words and attitude, it would be more difficult for things to escalate.

I'd also suggest you find a book in the library called, "Uncommon Sense for Parents With Teenagers" by Michael Riera. It's a book both you and your mom could benefit from reading.

Finally, use the Internet as a resource. Even if your mom isn't interested in making the relationship better, you could find online resources to help you cope until it's time for you to move out and be on your own.

Good luck!

In friendship,

Terra

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