Hey Terra!

Terra's Past Letters


Friends and Enemies:
"My friends have guy issues."

Hey Terra,

All my friends are having these problems and I don't know what to do about them. It seems everything I try just ends up making things worse or just not helping at all!

My best friend is having some issues with this guy she likes, a ton. She's written here a few times, so this is where I got the idea to write to you!

Anyway, she really likes this guy, and she's liked him for like three years, even after he de-friended her and came crawling back to her out of the blue before Christmas. But anyway, he's been recently very confused about his sexuality and has gone from liking this other very nice girl to thinking he's gay! I'm really worried, because not only is this happening but he's leaving the country in June and will be gone for a whole year!

I don't know what I can do to help my friend with this guy.

My second problem is ANOTHER one of my good friend's. She's liked this guy on and off again for some time now, and he's started to like her back. However, from what I hear, he's afraid to go out with her because of what "the group might say." I think this is just a lame excuse. What do I do? My friend really wants to date this guy...!

Thanks for your time!

Mixed Up and Confused


Dear Mixed Up and Confused,

Let me see if I can help you help your friends. (By the way, I think they are both very lucky to have such a caring friend as you!)

Your first friend's guy is clearly confused. A confused guy is not good boyfriend material. My suggestion is that you help your friend realize that the 'right' guy for her is not gay, and is also not attracted to other girls. The 'right' guy for your friend is one who wants to be with her as much as she wants to be with him. No confusion there. So, the sooner she accepts that this guy is not right for her, the sooner she'll be able to open her heart and mind to new relationships.

As for the guy your second friend is interested in, well, maybe he "started to like her back" but if he's too afraid to stand up for himself and do what he wants to, then he probably doesn't like her enough!

Like your first friend, this one should probably look elsewhere for a boyfriend. I mean, what's the point of liking someone who doesn't like you back?! When you (or anyone) gets into chasing a guy who isn't all that interested, you get into a pattern of accepting bad treatment from guys. Every girl deserves to be treated with respect and if that's not what she's getting from a guy, then she should let that guy go and find someone who is really good to her.

I hope this helps.

In friendship,


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