Hey Terra!

Terra's Past Letters


"I'm pregnant and now I'm stuck for life!"

Hey Terra,

I have a major problem. I have been dating this guy for like three years now and one night he got me to have sex with him without using a condom. The problem was it wasn't safe and now I'm pregnant. My parents are mad. His parents are mad. And he wants the baby. I do too but now I'm stuck for life with a kid.

I'm only 17yrs old and I have to grow up fast. What should I do???

Stuck Forever


Dear Stuck Forever,

You need to take some responsibility here, girl. The guy didn't "get you" to have sex with him. Unless he raped you, then you agreed to having unprotected sex. Which makes you as responsible for the unwanted pregnancy as he is. You say you "want" this baby, but that's a lie. You wish this never happened.

It's not a good idea for a 17 year old to try to raise a child (especially a 17 year old who thinks that becoming a mother is being "stuck for life"). And even though the guy says he "wants the baby" what kind of a father could he be? He wasn't even responsible enough to use birth control! You weren't either, for that matter!

So if you don't want this baby, what are you going to do with it?

You need to explore your options, immediately because you're right, you will have to "grow up fast" to be a mom and that doesn't sound like the kind of sacrifice you're ready for right now. If abortion is not an option, then I strongly suggest you arrange to put the baby up for adoption. That way the child gets what every child deserves, the chance to grow up with two parents, in a loving and committed relationship who want very much to nurture a child and who have the financial and emotional resources to do the job well.

In friendship,


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