Hey Terra!

Terra's Past Letters


"My friend smokes pot but it doesn't bother me."

Hey Terra,

One of my friends smokes pot, but it doesn't interfere with our friendship whatsoever, and I love that. But I think I upset him, because one time he asked me if I wanted to get high, and I thought he was kidding so I said "no!" in kind of a snobby way and he got really mad! If I knew he was serious, I would've been nicer. It happened a while ago, but it still bugs me. How do I bring it up and apologize to him without sounding like it bothers me that he smokes?

Smokeless Friend


Dear Smokeless Friend,

The "snobbiness" in your voice when you said that came from the fact that it does bother you that your friend smokes. You don't respect that part of him and even though you say it "doesn't interfere with our friendship whatsoever" the truth is, you'd respect him more and feel closer to him if he didn't use drugs. That's the truth. He got "really mad" because he didn't like hearing the truth (even though you didn't spell it out for him, he got the message anyway).

It sounds like you two are still friends, so what, exactly would you like to apologize for? Showing your disapproval of pot smoking? Or not being polite enough when you said "no"?

In friendship,


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