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Terra's Past Letters


Breaking up:
"My bf is probably going to dump me for my friend!"

Hey Terra,

I'm 14. I've been going out with this guy for a little over 2 months now, and he's my first real boyfriend. My so-called friend likes him, and it seems he sort of likes her. But before about a week ago, our relationship was really strong. Lately, he has acted different and he told my friend that he only wants more. My friend told him that she could give him what he wants. He's most likely going to dump me really soon and go for her. My friend said that she would never date my ex's though. I have been really stressed out lately and I don't know what to do.



Dear Confused,

I give this guy some credit for being honest about what he really wants... "only more" sex! If you have a different kind of relationship in mind (one that includes some non-physical stuff, like talking, and sharing feelings, and spending time together getting to know each other) then it sounds like this guy might not be the guy for you. And turning him into an ex bf before you make an unhealthy choice would be a very good thing!

As for your friend, even though she said she would "never" date an ex of yours, by her telling your bf that she could "give him what he wants" she's clearly flirting with him and moving in on your territory. You might want to have a conversation with her and find out what's going on.

No need to stress if you are clear about what's right for you.

What should you do?

Stay true to yourself and do not go farther than your comfortable going. Too many girls have sex with their boyfriends because they are "afraid to lose him". They end up losing him anyway and feeling really bad about themselves and the choice they made.

I hope this helps.

In friendship,


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