Hey Terra!

Terra's Past Letters

 

Communication Problems:
"How do I tell my boyfriend that I miss the way he used to be?"

Hey Terra,

I love my boyfriend, but he's changed since we've become a couple. We were best friends, and he would tease me and act like an older brother to me, but now I'm his girlfriend, he's different. Don't get me wrong, he's a great boyfriend, but I miss the guy I fell in love with. How do I tell him this without hurting his feelings?

Where's My Honey?

 

Dear Where's My Honey,

Tell him the truth. If your intention is to make the relationship stronger and not to blame him for anything then it's not likely that you will "hurt his feelings." Just be honest. Tell him you miss some of the playfulness that you two shared before you started dating. Give him some specific examples of exactly what you mean. Ask him if he'd be willing to bring some of that back into the relationship because you like it! And while you're having an open and honest conversation with him, ask him if there's anything that you used to do when you two were friends that he's noticed you've stopped doing. And would he like you to bring some of that back into the relationship?

The trick to having a healthy relationship that grows in positive directions is a willingness on your part and on your boyfriend's part to pay attention to what's going on and to help each other by talking about it. When people let their disappointments and resentments brew in silence, they start falling out of love with each other and begin to look outside of the relationship for the things they are "missing".

If you don't want that to happen, then talk about what you're feeling and listen to what you each have to say.

Make sense?

I hope this helps.

Write back after you've talked with your boyfriend and let me know how it goes.

In friendship,

Terra

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Hey Terra!

 

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