Hey Terra!

Terra's Past Letters

 

Teen Parents:
"Should I try to work it out for the baby's sake?"

Hey Terra,

I'm 15 and pregnant by this guy that is always in some kind of trouble. I didn't want that around me so I broke up with him. I've been going out with this other guy who treats me like an angel and with the respect a person should get. He even wants to be there for me even though it's not his baby. What I wanted to ask is should I try to work it out with the baby's father for the baby's sake or should I go with my heart and stay with the guy I'm with now? We've been going out for almost three months and I love him a lot but I don't know what to do. I feel bad for breaking up with the father of the baby but I feel that the guy I'm with now would be a lot better for the baby to be around.

Stressed Out and Confused!

 

Dear Stressed Out and Confused,

I'm sorry that someone your age has to be in this situation. But it's very cool that you are already thinking about "the baby's sake" and it sounds like you did the right thing to stay away from someone who is "always in some kind of trouble."

You need to start planning for your baby's future and your own. You're still very young and while it's great that the new guy treats you well, this is YOUR child and you can't make your plans based on some guy. The most important thing is for you to get the support you need to help you care for that baby and to finish your education (so that you can get a good job and continue providing for your child in the future).

I really hope that you have supportive parents because most likely they are the ones who will be there for you.

It would probably help a lot for you to talk with other pregnant teens and with teen moms. I suggest you call 1-800-230-PLAN (that's the Planned Parenthood hot line). They can tell you where the nearest clinic is where you can find pre-natal education and support groups for pregnant teens. You aren't alone... there is support for you and your child. And the sooner you have a plan in place, then the less "stressed and confused" you'll be.

One more thing to think about. A child deserves to have a relationship with both of its parents. If the baby's father wants a relationship with the child, that's something you should be open to and be willing to work on. Even if you don't want to be in a relationship with him, you will always be co-parents.

I wish you well.

In friendship,

Terra

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