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Hey Terra!

Terra's Past Letters

 

Wish I had one:
"I'm in love with my engaged best friend."

Hey Terra,

I am in love with my best friend. She has a fiancé, but things are rocky. We have been friends for over a year, and she knows how I feel. What should I do? I think about her constantly, I try to be there for her when things are bad and all but, constantly I am wishing that we could be together.

Perplexed

 

Dear Perplexed,

I'm sure you've been a tremendous emotional support to your friend, but are you really the best person to help her work on her relationship with her fiancé? How can you give her good advice about working things out with him when you really want her to break up with him?

It's a good thing that you've been honest with her about your feelings, but I'm wondering if you are taking care of yourself as well as you should be. If your role in this relationship is a shoulder to cry on while she goes on and on about how much she loves someone else and you're "constantly wishing that you two could be together" then it seems like you're purposely hurting yourself.

It's your choice, of course, but if the girl wanted to be with you instead of her fiancé, she'd break the engagement and be with you. The fact that she hasn't should tell you something.

I'm sure you have a very comforting shoulder, but don't you deserve more than this in a relationship?

In friendship,

Terra

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