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Terra's Past Letters

 

Communication Problems:
"My friend posted really nasty things about me on her site."

Hey Terra,

I "had" a friend in school. I'm not sure if I want to be her friend because she ignores me in school and she pressured me into smoking a cig. I wrote that to her in an email and then she said that I was a loser and that she didn't want to be seen with me. Then I said some nasty things about her and then she posted really nasty stuff about me on her site and she got her friend to post nasty things about me on her site. What should I do?

Dazzling Dina

 

Dear Dazzling Dina,

I agree with your decision to back away from this girl. Obviously someone who "ignores" you in school and "pressures" you to do drugs (and yes, the nicotine in tobacco is a highly addictive drug) isn't the kind of "friend" anyone needs. She was hurt when you told her you didn't want to be her friend any more. That's why she lashed out at you by calling you names and posting nasty stuff on her site, etc.

Since you can't control what she does and how she feels (or what she tells other people) you should try not to stress about that. You CAN control your response. Instead of getting into a war with her, my suggestion is that you let it go. Don't talk about her to other people and basically, don't engage in the name-calling.

Hopefully, she's gotten bored by now, but if this girl continues to harass you and turn other people against you, I'd suggest you talk to the school counselor about it. Because she needs to get the message that what she's doing just isn't cool.

In friendship,

Terra

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