Hey Terra!

Terra's Past Letters

 

From just friends to more?:
"Does he still think of me a friend material?"

Hey Terra,

I'm totally in love with this new guy I'm dating, and I don't know, but I just want to be with him all the time! He brings out a side of me that I love, and, since we were friends before we started dating, I can really be myself with him. The thing is, I'm worried that he thinks of me still as friend material even though he asked me out. I don't know if I'm just paranoid or what, but I guess I feel a little insecure about myself, which makes me question his feelings. What do you think? Am I overreacting?

Worried and In Love

 

Dear Worried and In Love,

You say that you can be yourself with your new guy. That's great! Is part of who you usually are someone who doesn't trust that people can really, genuinely like you for YOU? If your new guy is treating you well and being totally trustworthy, then it sounds like your own worrying is what's causing the problem. If you continue to hold yourself back because you question his feelings, then you'll be missing out on all the wonderful things of being in this relationship.

So, here's my advice... When you find yourself worrying about this and questioning "Does he really like me?" Notice it. Just notice it. Then say to yourself, "Oh, that's another one of my worrying thoughts. I can go down that road if I want and get myself freaked out or... I can choose NOT to go there. I'm a great girl and he's lucky to be with me. I am worthy of being loved."

Hopefully that will help to get you out of the worrying habit. So, each time you have one of those negative thoughts, acknowledge it and think something positive about yourself and your worthiness.

If you do this for a week, catching yourself each time and redirecting your thoughts, your worrying will fade away.

I hope this helps.

In friendship,

Terra

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