Terra's Past Letters
Hey Terra,I smoke I drink and do bad things and I don't know why. I'm so mad always. Right now I walked out on my mom to come to the library to get on the computer. She gets me soo frustrated.
My mom got a new boyfriend. I don't got a problem wit that. I just hate that she puts him before me. I told my mom to bring her cell phone so that I could call my sister in Mexico but she didn't. She left it to her boyfriend. How come she could stay out with her boyfriend and I can't? That's bulls***.
I also didn't get into the high school I wanted to so now I wanna drop out.
I told myself that I wouldn't smoke weed no more. I know it's wrong and my bf tells me that too.
I stop trying to kill my self (although I still think about it). I think about it when I'm at home cuz I get sooo mad. There's nothing to do and I can't stand my family. They think that they are better than me. They tell me a lot of s*** and I put up with some of it. No one in my family really knows me. They don't know I started smoking at 8 and drinking at 12. They don't know what I do when I'm not at home either. I don't wanna talk to them about that. I really don't wanna talk to nobody.
I'm really sorry to hear that things are so rough for you right now. It's tough when you feel like your mom isn't there for you. She could help you get your head on straight, but it sounds like you don't want to talk to her because you don't trust that she would really listen and try to understand. You need someone who WILL listen. Someone who cares enough to want to take the time to get to know who you really are.
It also sounds like you know that the choices you're making right now are making your life harder, not easier. You're intelligent, I can tell. That's why you don't need me to tell you that smoking weed and drinking is a dead end. Dropping out of school is going to limit your options in life so bad that there will be very few doors open to you.
So, even though you say "I really don't wanna talk to nobody" I think you really do. That's why you wrote to me. You want to talk.
If you were to think about all the people you know, who would be the person who is most likely to open his/he heart to you at this time? A grandparent? An aunt or uncle? An older cousin? A cool teacher? The school counselor? Who? Surely there's some adult you can trust who will listen to your troubles and assure you that you're not alone. Because you're not.
Think about it and reach out to someone you trust.
Need some advice? Write
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