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Terra's Past Letters


Communication Problems:
"My friend won't believe me!"

Hey Terra,

I was at school kind of late because my mom forgot to pick me up. My best friend's bf was staying late also. We were sitting on a bench. We weren't talking but then suddenly he bent over and started to kiss me. I pulled away and called him some bad things. So after that I ran away and my mom came.

Later that night I was on MySpace (which I am old enough to be on). This guy was on also, and he sent me a letter saying that he loves me. Well I called my best friend and told her everything. She was shocked and the next day she confronted her BF. He played it cool and denied that he did anything. Now my friend thinks that I'm lying to her. I'm not lying and she wouldn't believe me. I hate her BF for denying that he did anything. I don't want to lose my friend because I really like her. What should I do?



Dear Perplexed,

Your friend's upset and she's not thinking clearly. Even though her boyfriend is a cheat and a liar, at this moment she'd rather believe that you betrayed her than believe it was him. That's sad. This guy doesn't "love you"... He's trying to use you. Don't let yourself be used. You're much smarter than that, and you also have more integrity than that.

As for your best friend, of course you don't want to lose the friendship, but you can't "make" her believe what you're saying. You've already told her the truth. She's either going to believe you or she isn't. That's her choice. She may need to see the truth for herself when her boyfriend tries the same thing with some other girl.

Your choice is to take a whole lot of slow deep breaths and hold your head up and know in your heart, that you did nothing wrong. Stay away from the guy. Do NOT respond to any communications from him (spoken or online).

Go on with your life, and continue making good choices that reflect who your really are.

This will all work out.

I hope this helps.

In friendship,


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