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Terra's Past Letters


Romantic Triangles:
"I'm stuck in the middle."

Hey Terra,

Two girls who are best friends (A and B) are competing over me. As soon as A added a "y" onto my name B did to. They also printed out a coloring sheet and when A gave it to me B quickly added, "I colored it." B is playing football at my school because she heard I was going to be on the team. A was going to but her parents didn't allow it.

After school ended there is a public pool that is a block away from where I live, I go there nearly everyday. One day I saw them there and they came over, said hi, and gave me a hug. They preceded to ask me to do things with them, water basketball, Marco Polo, tag, etc. for about two hours. When they were leaving, they asked me to wait for them in the lobby. For the next hour I was either seated in a swing flanked by A and B or was rolling down a hill with them. I then had to leave for a football camp. After more hugs they asked if I would meet them at the pool two days later. I accepted because I would be there anyway. Two days later... I'm at the pool it was the same thing. Then B started really flirting with me. She also sat closer to me then A was. Then A moved in closer. I feel like a toy being fought over by two toddlers, one pulling left and one pulling right. I hope I'm made up of some pretty good plastic!

Please help me with this dilemma!

By the way, I really liked your book. It was very helpful.

Stuck 13 yr. old


Dear Stuck 13 yr. old,

I totally agree with you deduction. These girls are competing with each other big time and you are "the prize." What I noticed right away in reading your description is only how awkward you are feeling in these situations. (I don't blame you!) I also noticed the absence of any indication of affection for either of these competitors. You don't seem to care much about A or B (not in bf/gf terms anyway).

But this isn't a "dilemma" at all. A dilemma is a situation in which you are forced to choose one of two unsatisfactory options. That's not the case here. But you don't have to choose between these two "toddlers." (Thank goodness for that!) NO choice required, no dilemma.

As you seem unhappy to be in the middle of this tug-of-love... My advice is that you REMOVE yourself from the battlefield.

The next time either one of them invites you to spend time with them politely reply: "No thanks." You don't owe them any explanation. All that's required is courtesy and determination not to be "toyed" with.

After a few times of hearing "no thanks" my guess is that they will get the idea that you're just not interested in pursuing a relationship with either one of them.

(I'm glad you liked my book.)

In friendship,


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