Hey Terra!

Terra's Past Letters


Getting over a broken heart:
"Every time I think of her it hurts more and more."

Hey Terra,

How can I get over a girl that broke up with me. I have known her for 2 years. But we were talking for 3 months and together for like 3 1/2 weeks. She said she didn't have enough time for the relationship. And now she took me off her top eight on myspace and she has met these two guys at a camp and she is talking to them now. It really hurt me. I mean it's like every time I think of her it just hurts me more and more. I don't know why I feel this way.

Down and Broken


Dear Down and Broken,

I'm very sorry to hear that you're hurting. It's very sad when someone you care about rejects you. It's absolutely normal to "hurt"... That's why they call it a "broken heart."

If after 3 months of talking and 3 and a half weeks of going out she decided to end the relationship, well, that's her choice, isn't it? And you need to accept the reality of the situation. (That includes the reality of who makes the "top eight" on her myspace account and who doesn't.) Maybe the two of you had different ideas about what you wanted in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. Maybe you were ready for more of a commitment than she was. Maybe you just weren't a great match personality-wise.

You say that you think the relationship didn't work out because she "didn't have enough time." You sound like a very intelligent young man. That being the case, you probably don't need me to point out that when a relationship is good for both people, then both people usually find the time to be together... They MAKE the time. The fact that she was too busy to spend time with you sounds like an excuse. I'm not saying that you did anything wrong, I'm just saying that if you want to learn from this experience (which is what teen dating is all about) then I suggest you take a good hard look at what you did to contribute to this not working out. You see, it takes 2 people to make a great relationship and it takes 2 people to allow it to fall apart. You both share responsibility for it not working out (it has nothing to do with "time")... Since you may never get her to admit what she was responsible for, then you should take a look at what your responsibility was.

Make sense?

In friendship,


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