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Terra's Past Letters
Hey Terra,My friends aren't really my friends. I have so many friends that I don't have a BEST friend! See I started hanging out with this group that seemed really cool and they were really nice and all only they wanted to spend so much time with me that I lost all my other friends (stupid move on my part). So now... We were like a hamburger there was one girl the Meat the one who lead the whole group. We always went with her to her house with her dad every weekend and then their was the bread which is her so controlling parents that won't let her go anywhere. The other 2 girls were the ketchup and mustard and I was the pickle that people usually take off the burger!
Anyway we started out great but then 1 girl moved away to go to a different school and so the hamburger she is one of those people who needs SOMEONE all the time and can't spend a weekend alone and whines whenever me and the ketchup there spent time together so she decided that she is BEST FRIENDS with the ketchup and I am not allowed to spend time with Ketchup without the burger because c'mon! Who eats ketchup on a pickle? So we could both hang out with burger or one of us could but it was a big no no if we "excluded her" and the worst parts were when her mom and dad decided that ketchup and burger weren't allowed at my house because my "moms boyfriend is crazy, we don't lock our doors, my parents are never home, we jump off the roof in the middle of the night, and we do drugs there" None of which is true so then ketchup was the only one that could come over to my house but burger wouldn't allow that...
After awhile of this I got SO SICK OF IT! I was in such a depressing mood all the time because of burger so me and ketchup work together on science projects and so one day ketchup wanted me to go to her house to work on it (mind you burger had never been in ketchup's house before but then again she never asked to she just always said COME OVER MY HOUSE) so burger gets all mad at me for going to ketchup's house for just a couple of hours but pretended she didn't care...
I went over their again to work on science again another time... I decided to stay the night, we called burger and she decided to come too so burger decided this was some kind of competition to see who is ketchup's better friend so I started spending more and more time at ketchup's house then Ketchup always talks about burger like she hates her which really bothers me because when they are together they make fun of me and they act so immature.
My only problem now is ok I want to just ditch both of them ... they have seriously ruined my life I started acting like them, like immature 10 year olds this school year I can't make any new friends because I still act like them when I start to feel insecure. I just want to make new friends with people but I can't. I don't know how. I forgot how to be ME! I lost it completely.
Everyone used to be my friend. I always was doing something new. I used to just act so naturally around people and I was so nice and fun I was the center of my group of friends. I was always the first one invited anywhere but I always said that I wanted someone else to go because they never got to spend time with the other people. Now I just don't care anymore. I just want it to be like normal. Now I want to be the only pink sprinkle on a great big ice cream cone covered with tons of blue sprinkles. I'm sick of being the freaking pickle on a hamburger that everyone throws away at McDonalds!!!!
Let me tell you first how much I enjoyed reading your letter. You have a delightfully descriptive way of writing.
I have to agree with you... it's absolutely time to find a new bunch of friends who really ARE your friends and stop wasting time with people who aren't! I understand it's hard to reach out to new people... but you are so aware of who you are. I know, you say you "forgot how to be yourself." But the thing I really admire about you, is that you know that you are acting "like them" when you feel insecure. Most people don't have a clue about why they act a certain way! The fact that you DO shows that you have control over it. That means you can choose NOT to act that way next time you're feeling insecure!
That's very cool to know you have a choice!
I don't believe you have forgotten how to be you... That person who got invited everywhere... still knows exactly how to act "naturally around people." Put yourself in some situations with new people... not the hamburger and ketchup girls... and you'll see... the REAL you still knows how to shine!
I hope this helped.
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