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Terra's Past Letters


"I want my older brother to like me for the person I am."

Hey Terra,

I have always looked up to my brother, and now that we are both older (he's 23, and I am 17) I still have the same attitude that I had to him when I was 5. I just admire him so much that I loose all my personality. It's like I give in to all his opinions and beliefs and ditch my own. How do I go about reversing this? I am scared that if and when I act like my normal self around him, he is no longer going to like me. It might be that he's so intelligent, or I find him to be so intelligent that I feel my opinions aren't correct and his are due to his intelligence. Help- I really want him to like me for the person I am.

Fed up


Dear Fed up,

My guess is that your admiration for your brother is based, in part, on the fact that he has experienced more of life than you have. Soon you will be on your own and that will be the time when you will become more sure of who you are and where you stand. And you will feel more confident letting your brother, and everyone else, know and like you for the person you are.

But you don't have to wait until then to make things different. I suggest that you share your feelings with your brother. Tell him exactly what you just told me. It may be that the two of you have had the kind of relationship you're describing for so long, you may need to shake it up a bit to change things. An honest conversation might be just the shake up you need.

In friendship,


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