Terra's Past Letters

Confused

Dear Confused,

I agree with you. The guy sounds like a total jerk, in addition, he's an abuser. But your friend "loves him" so what can you do? Some girls (and women) will stick with abusive guys until the guys murder them. It doesn't sound like your friend thinks she's got a problem, though you and I know she does.

All you can do is tell her that you're worried because of the way her bf treats her. Since you've said it all before (and so have her other friends) it's not likely she's going to all of a sudden start listening. It's sad, I know. And it's scary, because you're afraid he's got so much control over her life that he could really hurt her.

Here's an organization you should know about for your friend. It's called RAINN (Rape, Abuse, Incest) and it was founded in 1994 by Tori Amos. They've got a toll free number you can call anytime: 1.800.656.HOPE (Maybe they can give you some ideas about how to help her.) They also have a great web site you can check out at www.rainn.org (Maybe you can get your friend to look at it too.)

Good luck and keep being the caring friend that you are!