Terra's Past Letters

Scared Teenager

Dear Scared Teenager,

Whether you tell her or not is your choice.

A good rule to follow before opening one's mouth is to pause and ask yourself these three questions:

1. Is what I'm about to say true? (that's the easiest one to answer)
2. Is it helpful? A lot of things may be true but aren't helpful. For example, "You've got a huge zit on your chin," may be true, but how is does it help the person to hear this information?
3. Is it necessary? This 'confession' of yours, are you dumping it to help ease your conscience, even though you know it's going to create a huge upset for your mom. And after you've dropped the bomb, what 'good' have you really accomplished? Has it brought you closer to understanding and respecting each other more. (If so, then that's a very good thing.) If it's likely to create a 'firestorm' of reaction from her that's not going to be calming and healing for a long time (maybe not ever) then why do it? What's to be gained?

If the answer is no to two out of three, the wisest thing to do is to keep your mouth shut.