E M O T I O N S:
The Sunday News
Looking for something in the Sunday paper,
I flipped by accident through Local Weddings,
Yet missed the photograph until I saw
Your name among the headings.
And there you were, looking almost unchanged,
Your hair still long, though now long out of
And you still wore that stiff and serious look
You called a smile.
I felt as though we sat there face to face.
My stomach tightened. I read the item through.
It said too much about both families,
Too little about you.
Finished at last, I threw the paper down,
Stung by jealousy, my mind aflame,
Hating this man, this stranger whom you loved,
This printed name.
And yet I clipped it out to put away
Inside a book like something I might use,
A scrap I knew I wouldn't read again
Yet couldn't bear to lose.
I want what you have.
Jealousy is such a powerful emotion
you feel it in your head and in your body. Your
chest tightens up, your stomach feels weird, and
you may be so unhappy and out of control you can't
even think straight.
More for You means Less for Me.
When you feel jealous you believe that someone
is getting something that ought to be yours. We're
talking about anything from an ice cream cone to a
cool pair of shoes, an A on a test, or a word of
praise from a teacher or a parent. On some level,
we believe that someone getting "goodies" means
there's less of them for us. If the "goodie" they
got is attention from one of our special friends,
then we might feel threatened, hurt, or angry. It's
as if suddenly we feel less loved by that special
person than we did before. It doesn't make a lot of
sense when we really think about it, but that's the
way we feel. And we can feel it very strongly.
Use your mind not your emotions.
Often when people are jealous it turns out that
they totally misinterpreted a situation. Like what
they thought was going on was
not what was happening at all.
One thing you can do to help you cope with those
overwhelmingly yucky feelings of jealousy is to
slow yourself down, breathe deeply and try to talk
to yourself. Use your rational mind to guide you
while your emotions take a break. For example, if
your girlfriend or boyfriend seemed to be flirting
with someone, don't jump to conclusions. Find out
exactly what was going on. It could be that no one
was flirting with anyone. Maybe your lover was just
politely thanking this other person for answering a
question about a homework assignment. Check out
the facts first before you have a cow. That way
you can save yourself from a major meltdown and
know that you've handled the whole situation
But what if your jealousy is justified? Suppose
your lover is fooling around behind your back? Then
it's time for some honest communication and
If you need more specific help,