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I
ended up going to the dance with this
Chinese girlfriend of mine. Her name is
JoAnn. Our fathers had arranged a car
pool. It would have been fine with me and
JoAnn to walk to the dance, neither of us
live that far but our families wouldn't
allow it. So at 7:15 on the button, the
doorbell rang, it was JoAnn. Her father
was sitting in the car with the motor was
running. Later JoAnn said that she told
her father just to toot the horn but he
said that was a rude way to arrive at a
friend's house and that she had to get out
of the car, walk up the wet path and ring
the doorbell. I agree with JoAnn, it
seemed like a waste of time. Besides, it
was cold out so why should she have to
stand there waiting for me? Then I felt
like I was being rude because
I made her wait an extra couple of minutes
while I was running around looking for my
other shoe!
As
soon as we got to the dance, some guy
named Tony, from JoAnn's biology class,
asked her to dance. So she took off and I
stood there in the middle of all that
noise, watching the couples mashing into
each other. I felt so out of it I thought
maybe I shouldn't have come.
I
mean school dances always seem to me like
such artificial places. It's so hard to
talk. The music is so loud and I just
never feel comfortable. And the close
dancing (if that's what you want to call
it... it looks more like having sex with
clothes on). I don't know. Maybe I'm just
uptight. I felt weird and out of place. I
looked around and I saw this Chinese
friend of mine, Derek. He waved at me.
With all those people it's just amazing he
even saw me.
After
a while Chaz came up to me and asked me to
dance. They were actually playing a song
that I like. Not too loud and obnoxious.
So we pushed through all these people
trying to get to a place on the dance
floor, but as soon as we found a spot, the
song ended, so that was that. Chaz seemed
to want to talk, but like I said, dances
are no place to talk. You just end up
screaming and nobody can hear anything
anyway, so why bother? We thought about
going outside, where it was quieter, but
it was cold and besides, at our school
they have this rule that once you go out
you can't come back in again, until the
dance is over. So we were stuck.
A
slow dance was starting, and Chaz asked me
to dance. The lights dimmed and all these
couples around us were putting their arms
around each other and getting in real
close. I told Chaz I didn't feel like
dancing and he said that was okay, we
could sit down and talk. We started moving
through the crowd back to the edge of the
gym, where there were some chairs set up,
but before we got there, this girl named
Wendie Benson asked Chaz to dance.
Wendie's one of the popular girls, blond,
cute. He asked me if it was all right. I
didn't feel like it was all
right, but I lied and said, "No problem."
So he left with her. I was just standing
there, feeling like a complete loser, so I
went over to get a Coke, which I don't
even like. There was Derek and he asked me
to dance. I wasn't thrilled, but it seemed
way better than just standing there like
an idiot. So Derek and I started dancing.
From where we were I had a great view of
Chaz and Wendie. She was playing around
with his hair and stroking the back of his
neck. It made me feel really weird to see
it. I'm not sure why. I mean, it's not
like he didn't ask me to dance first. And
I said no. And didn't I tell him that I
just wanted to be friends? So what right
do I have to be jealous? Oh, this is so
confusing. Maybe it's not even possible to
be friends with a guy, anyway, at least
not one you really like. Chaz and I said
we'd always be honest with each other and
I really wasn't being honest when I told
him I didn't want to dance. I really
did want to dance with him!
Then why didn't I do it? My parents
weren't there. Why didn't I just say yes?
I'm such an idiot. And when I looked at
Chaz and Wendie together I thought "Of
course he'd rather be with her. They're
even both blond!" She's probably exactly
what he likes and I don't look anything
like her.
Anyway,
it wasn't much fun dancing with Derek. I
mean, I wasn't even aware of him. After
the song ended, I made up some lame excuse
to get away. I said I had to go to the
bathroom (I wonder how many people in the
past 2000 years have used that excuse to
get away from the person they were with?)
So
I went into the girls room which was
packed. All the girls were putting on
make-up and talking about guys. Then JoAnn
came in and told me what a great time she
was having with Tony who she has liked for
a long time.
When
I came out of the bathroom I saw Chaz and
he saw me. He came over and asked me to
dance. And this time I said yes. It was
the first time we actually touched each
other. It felt a little strange but nice.
Then I started thinking that Chaz was
probably thinking about Wendie and how she
was a much better dancer than me. And
comparing how he felt when he was with
each of us. She's much better looking than
me. And much sexier (which isn't too hard
since I am about the least sexy girl
around.)
The
next thing I knew my father was standing
in the doorway of the gym looking around
for me! He was 45 minutes early! I was
really annoyed and embarrassed. I mean, I
specifically told him that the dance
wasn't over until midnight, but there he
was at 11:15, so what could I do? I
certainly wasn't going to start yelling at
my father in front of the whole school,
and he certainly wasn't going to leave
quietly and come back later. So I went to
find JoAnn, who wasn't very happy either
about leaving so early, but our parents
had made arrangements for us to come and
go together. Oh God! I felt like such a
baby!
When
I got home I just couldn't go to sleep. I
took out the poem that Chaz gave me and
started thinking about things he'd said to
me. Maybe none of that was real. Who
knows? I don't think I'm going to any more
school dances.
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