Entry #4: This may turn out all right after all!


We had another group meeting in English today. This time things we so different I am still trying to figure out what happened.

It started as soon as Ms Phipps told us that if we hadn't figured out what we were doing yet, we absolutely had to decide the storyline of our play in the next fifteen minutes. Since I thought that we had all voted at that very first meeting to do Dee's version of Clueless meets Cinderella, I pulled out my French homework because I figured this wasn't going to be much of a group meeting and I might as well get started on tomorrow's assignment. But apparently Chaz had another idea. He got up and said that he hadn't really been honest when he voted before. He said he completely changed his mind about Dee's idea for the play and wanted to do mine instead. After what happened at the mall I knew Chaz felt bad about lying, but I didn't really expect that he'd tell everybody else! It made me feel really good to hear him say that he thought my idea for the play was much more relevant than hers. (Which, of course, it is!) Well, Dee looked like she was a having a bad day to begin with so when Chaz announced that, I completely expected her to explode or something. But she didn't. In fact, she didn't react at all. Maybe she was playing it cool, like it was no big deal and she was dreaming up some way to get back at Chaz and me. Then Miguel said that he wanted to hear me explain my idea again. So I told him the story and since I've been thinking about it some more, I added a part about how the Outsiders are really mistrustful of each other at the beginning, and how they try to distance themselves from each other to get accepted by the Insiders and how it fails for each of them. And so they are separate from the Insiders and separate from each other. Miguel listened carefully and then he nodded and said that he thought that would make a much better play than Dee's. So there it was. Everything had completely shifted and it looked like three out of four of us were absolutely convinced that we should do my idea.

And all this time Dee hadn't said a word. She was definitely thinking about something else...maybe trying to figure out how she had lost control over Miguel and Chaz and what she could do about it. Or maybe she was just thinking about something totally unrelated. Anyway, it was time to vote so I asked her what she thought about us doing my play idea instead of hers and you know what she said? "Sure. Whatever." Chaz and I looked at each other like we couldn't believe it. Then the bell rang and Ms. Phipps said she wanted a summary of each group's idea by tomorrow. I told the group that I would write it up and everyone left for their next class. As I was getting my books together I looked over at Dee. She was checking the polish on her nails, not seeming to be in any hurry at all, which is odd because she's in my history class and Mr. Hirsch gets really irritated at people who come in late. As I hurried out of the classroom Dee was still kinda sitting there, like she had some very large problem on her mind that was weighing her down. And when I looked at her this wave of sadness washed over me, which was really strange because now that we're doing my idea for the play, I was feeling very happy.




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