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Becca
called me up the other night. I was
surprised because she's never called me.
Outside of English class she's never even
talked to me. It was kinda sweet,
actually. You see, she has a crush on Chaz
and he likes her. He actually asked her to
the dance a couple of weeks ago but she
turned him down. (I didn't know that!
Shows how out of things I've
been.)
Anyway,
she called at around 8 and asked me if I
could give her some advice about guys. You
know, general kind of advice about what
guys are like and how do you get them to
like you without them trying to control
you and all of that. We were on the phone
until almost 10 o'clock. We talked about
her and Chaz and how embarrassed she was
about her parents' and their out dated
ways. You know, the whole racial thing,
which really surprised me because I always
thought that it was just white people who
didn't like blacks and Hispanics and
Asians. (Well, of course I know lots of
black people who hate whites too, but I
never really thought about how Asians feel
about non-Asians). Now I find out from
Becca, that Asians are just as prejudiced
against different groups as everybody
else!
She
said she thought that Chaz liked Wendie
Benson because she was white. And I said,
that Chaz seemed to me to be the kind of
guy who did not follow anybody's rules but
his own. It was obvious to me that he
liked Becca and I told her that. I mean
the way he told everyone in our English
group that he'd lied about liking
my play idea. (I wasn't
thrilled about that, but it
did show that the guy liked
Becca!) She'd have to be blind not to see
it.
She
told me that he showed her a poem he had
written and how he never showed his poetry
to anybody. And I said to her, "What more
proof do you need, girl?"
She
was quiet. "I guess you're right. He
really does like me."
Then
what was the problem? I asked.
Becca
told me that she didn't want to lose him,
but she didn't want to upset her parents
either. And I told her that she needed to
stand up to her parents and tell them that
she liked this boy and she respected them
too much to lie to them.
I
asked Becca if she thought she could tell
her parents that. She said she wasn't sure
because they were so prejudiced against
non-Asians.
Then
Becca and I talked about whether we
thought this prejudice thing was something
everyone was born with. I was thinking
maybe it was, but then I remembered my
grandma getting a puppy and a kitten from
the Animal Shelter when I was about 5. She
said she was conducting a "social
experiment" because you know, everyone
just assumes that dogs and cats are
"natural enemies" (like maybe the way
white people and black people are). Well,
Grandma brought both of those baby animals
home and raised them with lots of love and
attention. And you know what? That dog and
cat grew up loving each other! They didn't
even know which one of them was a dog and
which one was a cat, they were just
brothers. So Grandma said that just went
to prove there was no such thing as
"natural enemies." Hatred and fear is
something that we're taught. And if you
get taught love and acceptance instead,
then that's the way you live your
life.
I
told this to Becca and she thought it was
very interesting. She said she agreed with
Grandma Webster. It seemed to her that the
reason her parents and their Asian friends
in this country didn't trust people who
weren't Asian was because they had been
the victims of prejudice. I could totally
relate. Suppose you are walking down the
street and you passed a person who has a
different skin color from yours. And that
person takes one look at you and makes
some racist comment. Of course you will
remember that. Then suppose a day later,
another person from the same group
verbally attacks you. Then on the third
day, a third person from that same group
walks by. A part of you is going to be
ready to be attacked. A part of you is
cringing inside even if
this person doesn't have any
negative feelings toward you at all. You
have learned to be a victim.
And
when a bunch of victims get together they
spread their stories of prejudice around
and then they teach that fear and hatred
to their children. It's sad.
Becca
and I agreed to have lunch together
tomorrow.
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