Dee's Journal



Entry #19: Up in smoke.


Well, just when I was just so happy with everything in my life... especially with me and Miguel, something had to come along and ruin it. Oh, I'm jumping ahead. Okay, I'll start at the beginning.

After I went looking for Miguel in the woods last week and we found each other, that was so beautiful. And for the next few days everything was perfect. Miguel came back to school and he and I were totally together, you know what I mean? And there wasn't any more of that "stick to your own kind" of crap that we had been hearing from both sides of the table when we first got together. No everything was copacetic, for sure.

Then Friday rolls around and I hear about this party that my sister and some of her friends were having. Felicia usually doesn't want me anywhere near any parties of hers, but this was different because her best friend Rachel, whose sister Caryn is my age, was also having some friends over. So that's how I got invited. I told Miguel about it and at first it seemed like he didn't much want to go at all, you know, like maybe he thought he'd be the only Latino there and everyone else would be black. But I told him that wasn't the case (and like even if it was, who cares?). But I knew it wouldn't be, because Caryn, she's got all different color friends. I told him that and he changed his mind and we went.

You could hear the music out in the street and I was thinking they should probably turn it down, you know, cause if the neighbors started complaining and the cops were called, it wouldn't be too cool, especially since Rachel and Caryn's parents weren't at home.

Inside it was really crowded, but the vibes were good and Miguel and I started dancing. I introduced him around, and people were friendly. We were having a good time when Cleavon came up, smoking a joint. He offered me some and I said no. (I've tried pot, but the two times I did it all I got was a really bad headache, so I figured, why bother?) Then he offered some to Miguel. Miguel reached for the joint and I told him I didn't want him to smoke it. (I've heard stories about guys who get kinda aggressive with girls when they're stoned, and I just didn't want to be dealing with that.) Miguel probably was only taking the smoke to be polite (I know he doesn't normally do drugs) so it probably was not a big deal to him. But then Cleavon opened his big fat mouth and said, "Hey Miguel! You gonna let your woman tell you whether you can or can not smoke some weed?"

And he was so loud and obnoxious that I guess Miguel felt like he had to prove something to him or some such crap. Anyway, he says, "No way, man!" and takes the joint. He takes a long drag on it, like he's showing off or something. Then it felt like he was exhaling and blowing that sickly sweet smoke right in my face. Oooh, that made me mad!

So I said I wanted to go. And Miguel, who was looking kinda stoned silly said to me that he wasn't ready to leave yet. And I said that I was ready to leave. That's when Cleavon felt like he needed to put in his two cents and said, "Miguel, can't you even decide for your own self when you want to leave a party?" I told Cleavon to shut up and keep his nose out of our business and he said that it was the business of any man to defend his right to be a man and stand up to a woman. Can you believe that crap? Miguel looked really out of it and I just told him that I was leaving and he could do whatever he wanted. So I left.

When I got home I was still mad so I put on some Alanis and did some painting. I'm not sure if it made me feel any better, but I sure wasn't sorry that I left that party.




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